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Diary entry number three :  Scarred (14/7/2004)


We were filming for most of the week. On an average day I would tell the guys to meet at mine at about eleven, and only Ashley would turn up at that time. Me and him would wait about two hours for Ken and Krishnan to appear, and Masa would phone up after a few hours to say that he couldn't be bothered to come after all and we'd all be annoyed with him.


The film however was actually Masa's idea in the first place. I guess he just liked planning it in his head, but didn't really like taking part. Which is a shame really because Masa's a cool fighter, he makes everything look cool. He spins around a lot when he kicks, and he always drives forward to make things look more aggressive.


Filming was a lot of fun. I could do it for days. It's great. I love being behind the camera and thinking up choreography. It's cool.
When Masa did finally arrive we shot a fight between the two of us that lasts a very long time.
Well after we finished and the others had gone home me and Masa had a bokken (wooden sword.) fight. If you've read the notes on people in my life then you'll know that Masa is good with swords. The other day he did 3000 slashes with his sword. I do about 0. But when I was fighting with Masa I was actually beating him for a while, and he went NUTS. Masa likes moving forward when he's fighting, and when he's even more aggressive when he's annoyed.
It was pretty inevitable that eventually somebody would get hit. We have quite a dramatic idea of training.

I've been in so many moments like this that you begin to recognise the stages.

1. Darkness
2. The sound of what happened
3. Somebody around you will say something, probably 'Shit!'
4. You feel it everywhere
5. You fall
6. You can see
7. You hurt like hell, but only where it's meant to be.

I live in moments like these. It's almost refreshing to be in a state the isn't quite awake or asleep. Just flashes of red yellow and green over a black background. And I always can smell pain, it sounds stupid, but I always feel it at the bridge of my nose the most.
So I fell to the ground and bled into my hands. I bled a lot. Probably more than I've ever bled before. The guys were around me shouting stuff. I remember cupping my hands until the blood filled them, and then releasing it onto the ground. Very odd image.  Quite artistic.
And I didn't cry. I really thought that I would, I cry very easily.

Masa called his Mum, who gave me a lift to the hospital. His family are very nice and caring. Masa said that the Japanese way is 'to put the needs of other before yourself'. Sounds like a good way to live, I might try it sometime.

Me and Masa waited in casualty. It was good of him to stay with me. I sat leaking blood into a flannel that I held to my head, the people sitting around the place looked at me in half disgust half worry. I helped a woman in a wheel chair get across to the phone and felt a smug sense of generosity as I was waiting. Masa's mum and sister came in to see how i was, I told them that I was alright, which i was, but I still didn't tell them how it happened.

Annoyingly in the NHS hospitals you're not allowed to eat or drink until the assessment nurse has seen you. Masa had bought me some Lilt and I wasn't allowed to have it for another two hours. There was some women who's husband had broken his thumb or something saying how they should sue the NHS. What kind of monster would sue the NHS?!

Well eventually they put the skin back together again. No stitches, just plasters and glue. I'm not allowed to get it wet, which includes sweating.

They didn't get to it very quickly (Then again for an English hospital this was quite fast.) considering the damage that can occur with an open wound of this size after a while. I've been told that scarring is pretty much definite, I don't know how bad it'll be, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was pretty bad, we did wait a long time before getting seen.

Just now as I was writing this Masa was on MSN messenger talking to me about it. He said that his Mum suggested that they give me some money to make up for what happened, based on my suggestion. What the hell am I supposed to say? I couldn't take any money, it wouldn't be right. I'm not going to say how much it would cost for someone to scar me. It was my fault as much as it was Masa's. Although Masa did offer to buy me dinner sometime, and I being the glutton that I am accepted. Masa's not allowed to see me for a while, his parents won't let him. Which kinda sucks because I only have four more days before we go separate ways.

Hmm, I could have milked an awful lot of cash out of this...
Shame...

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